For the love of chocolate

Is living in The Bosch, me beloved bubble, like a supermodel trying to live a double life as a chocolatier? Some times I am silent of mind and assured of Stellenbosch’s top rank on the idealistic training venue list, and at times its such a noisy toxic beat of magnetism that gets me second guessing from the other side of the cliff I’ve just strolled off. Moderation, balance, management? Stuff that.

I dont want to moderate, sounds more like having to keep the rev’s down to hear the base line in the car on the way to a Jonkershoek run, and less like the passion of feeling vibrations through the car seat from the sub. When you mean it, mean it, no? And balance, I am trying to think of inspiration that came from balance. Other than the greatest artist heist ever pulled, in the 70′s between the two twin towers in New York (read the dvd back yesterday – the guy tight rope walked). But as for more standard balance, well, general lack of greatness, surely. Ah, but then the management puzzle piece does perplex a little into “prezzur” that heats my seat. And thats what would keep me up all night. Tonight.

Is it a gift, a talent, a pre-disposition I did not get? Some seem to have it so together, so orderly, so alpha-numerical. Nature vs nurture, or just plain gutsy determination towards discipline? What is it and why do I lack it? How have I strayed into the maize of a mess as far as management goes.

Coach Gary is pulling his hair out. And there’s not too much left as is.

But Wijnhuis is my favourite, and I’d not done a steak sandwhich and fine red there for ages. Nor could I decline the Blues show invitation tomorrow night. I loved being a tourist on the weekend, she was only here for one weekend. Little Josh has been craving to get out to the farm, drive some tractors, I’ve rain checked twice…

Watched Revolutionary Road on the indoor trainer yesterday afternoon as the thunder roared outside and marble sized drops pelted any sense out of outside. Had run a great Vartlek session in it earlier, but riding, thats a different game. Am sure the Euro’s would smile, but for us a front here may be mild but its the most severe weather I know. Long paragraph to get back to Revolutionary Road – heavy film, leaving me mainly spent and empty but with a spark of wishful belief at being different, at being ‘special’ as they put it. I dont want to conform.

Ah, so, for the love of life’s chocolate. Do I abstain totally? Do I nibble and never suffice? Do I withhold, then splurge? Such is life, such is the game. So, as Gary’s mail put it today: What do I want? What do you? And therefore, what am we prepared to sacrifice…